my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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