so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize