wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Quick, to the slutcave!
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
