The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
