my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
