He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
