So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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