I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize