you traded sex for a burrito?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
