In the future we'll all be gay
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Can you repeat that, but with context?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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