They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
