His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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