you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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