Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
