home. puking in laundry basket.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Two words: nipple clamps
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