Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
