I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Randomize
