Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
