i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize