can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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