Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
