Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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