dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
