Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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