You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
