Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
