do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize