After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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