Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
