So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
