I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
