he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
