Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
