I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize