flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize