I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
