Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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