If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
