I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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