so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Randomize
