i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
