what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
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