She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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