Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
