Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
