At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
