Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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