Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize