yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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