dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
