U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
