the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize