I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
This gyro tastes like lonliness
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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