she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
