Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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