Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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