What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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