just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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