I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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