I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize