'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
